2/14/10

Valentine's Day Antidote

Any reasonably-intelligent single person knows that Valentine’s Day is nothing but a superficial, overblown Godiva and Hallmark hoax, the main purpose of which is to make consumers spend money they don’t have on goods and services they don’t need, and the main result of which is to put so much pressure on couples that many of them break up on or around Valentine’s Day.  So why in the world should the dateless feel they have somehow missed an Important Life Experience?

The fact is that it is impossible to be completely impervious to the sweet-smelling, pervasive atmosphere of V-Day romantic dining and gift-giving (not to mention that every bouquet of flowers and box of candy seems to hold the promise of the sex you are not having); after all we are only human.  The problem is that we are not seeing the glass as half-empty as it is.  My recommendation for surviving the evening alone?  Take off those heart-shaped, rose-colored glasses and rent or download two or more of the following movies -- films which feature couples yelling at each other, killing each other, and cheating on each other (not necessarily in that order):  Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,  A Place in the Sun, A Streetcar Named Desire, Kramer versus Kramer, War of the Roses, Sleeping with the Enemy, or The Ice Storm.  Watch with good food and wine -- whatever you and you alone feel like eating -- but not chocolate.  Just for tonight, chocolate is for lovers and will offer you only the guilt portion of guilty pleasure.

Cheesecake? That’s another story.

4 comments:

  1. Darn, got this advice too late and ate too much chocolate.

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  2. I always try to paint a room, or some other intensive house project on Valentines Day. It's my way of expressing self-love!

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  3. According to the history books, in 496 AD St. Valentine was beaten with clubs, stoned, and then executed by the Roman emperor for marrying Christian couples. In the modern era we celebrate a holiday named after this martyr with chocolate and little cards with red hearts - how weird is that? Candy and death - they give us a chance to ponder what we do for love and what is done to us in return.

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