The Top Ten Things Not to Say at Your Family Thanksgiving Dinner

1. "So, how about that election, huh?!"

2. "People who like football are driveling idiots."

3. "People who don't like football are driveling idiots."

4. "Turkey again?  BOORR-INGGG!"

5.  "I've been keeping a really embarrassing secret for the last ten years, and I've decided it's time to tell all of you about it now."

6.  "Have you two ever considered marriage counseling?  It's helped a lot of people."

7.  "Thankful?  I'll be thankful when all of you go home!"

8.  "I need to borrow a substantial sum of money."

9.  "Have you gained weight this year?"

10. "One thing you can say about Thanksgiving; it's not as bad as Christmas!"

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